Write Things: On telling our challenging stories

Hello writers,

I’m going to talk about writing challenging personal stories.

Don’t worry fiction-only writers, this can help you out too.

Idea: On process

When we write personal stories, it’s easy to want to explain everything—what happened, how we felt, and even what we took away from it. But when we lean too heavily into “telling” like this, it can feel like we’re steering the reader’s thoughts or persuading them to see things a certain way.

Often, this happens when we’re sharing the judgments or conclusions we’ve come to. While that’s natural as we make sense of our own experiences, there’s a more impactful way to bring the reader along.

Try focusing on just the facts and your honest feelings. No apology, no extra explanation.

By grounding the story in what happened and how it affected you, you give your reader the chance to connect on their own terms.

Let them experience the story for themselves, coming to their own conclusions. This is the heart of “showing” versus “telling.” When readers have that room to draw their own insights, they’re more invested in the journey, feeling a part of it rather than being guided.

This same approach strengthens fictional writing too. Instead of telling readers how to feel about a character or moment, let actions and dialogue do the work. Trust the story to unfold in a way that reveals what you want to share, and trust your reader to pick up on the cues.

Focusing on facts and feelings invites readers to experience the story directly. It’s a subtle shift, but it makes all the difference in creating a story that resonates deeply.

Inspiration: “A moment that changed me”

Set a timer for four minutes and write continuously on the prompt above. This week, lean into the images, feelings, or ideas that feel important. Afterward, decide whether to revise, continue, or leave it as is.

I love hearing how different writers approach each prompt. Send yours to [email protected] or reply to this email. I’ll respond to every piece I receive before the next newsletter.

Invitation: To heal

This week, I invite you to explore a challenging memory. Choose a moment you'd like to revisit, but instead of analyzing or concluding, focus only on the essentials: the facts as you remember them, the feelings you experienced, and how this may have impacted your future.

Write this memory three times—whether over three days, weeks, or even months. By the third round, you might notice that your version of the story has shifted from the first. James Pennebaker’s studies have shown that revisiting memories in this way can create the distance we need to view them with fresh clarity, helping us either move forward or approach them from  a new perspective.

Ultimately, this can help you capture and share the story with others in a more authentic and effective way. Try it, and see how each retelling shapes the story.

That's it for this week.

All the best,

Trevor Martens